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| 1) Library Antics |
A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.
When the chicken sees
that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken.
The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken.
The chicken
disappears.
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashioon, it seems),
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
By now, the
librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library.
She follows it through the
parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows.
On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh.
The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time.
The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying,
"Read it, read it, read it..." |
| 2) Robinson Crusoe |
Two frogs sat on Robinson Crusoe's back.
One said to the other,"I have to go now.
But let's meet again on Friday!" |
| 3) Smart Frog |
Baby Frog: Mama, who is smarter- a chicken or a frog?
Mama Frog: We are of course!!
Baby Frog: How do you know?
Mama Frog: Well, who ever heard of Kentucky Fried Frog?
submitted by Christy |
| 4) The Princess and the Frog |
The Frog and the Princess
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing
and saying, "I don't think so." |
| 5) Fog Trouble |
Billy: You know what the trouble with frogs is?
Diane: No what?
Billy: It's okay for a frog to hop around, but it would look pretty silly for you to hop around a frog! |
| 6) Time |
It seems there were two frogs sitting on a lily pad, when all of a sudden, a fly came along. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing hysterically.
Soon the other frog joined in the laughter.
Later in the day, the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much that the sight of a fly would
cause them to double up with pleasure (if it's possible for frogs to double up!). But of course, the most pleasure came when the fly was actually eaten.
A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered "Time." "Huh?" asked the third frog. The second frog explained:
"Time's fun when you're having flies."
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| 7) Top Ten Reasons to be a Frog |
Kermit LetterFrog's
TOP TEN REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A FROG
10. Babes are always kissing you because they think you'll turn into a
prince.
9. Flies in your soup are a bonus.
8. You're above toads on the food chain.
7. Green goes with absolutely everything!
6. Pond Scum is a term of endearment.
5. Most restaurants have a "no croaking" section.
4. Amphibians are at a minimum risk of appearing on Geraldo.
3. You can scratch hard to reach places with your tongue.
2. You can donate your body to science for big bucks!
1. It sure beats being a newt.
|
| 8) Top Ten Signs That You are a Frog |
Top ten signs you might be a frog.
You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup
You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly
French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you
Bug lamps appear to you as a curse
On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address
Kermit is your idol
You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit
Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times
You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium
France is the evil empire to you |
| 9) Traffic Light |
Two guys were in a car stopped at a red light. The light finally turned
green, but the driver didn't notice.
The passenger said, "Er, it's green."
After a moment, the driver responded, "A frog?" |
| 10) Wide Mouth Frog |
(When you tell this, you have to do the frog's lines while stretching
your mouth wide.)
A wide-mouthed frog went to the zoo to see what the other animals feed their
offspring.
"Mrs. Elephant," said the wide-mouthed frog, "What do you feed
your babies?"
"I feed them elephant milk," said the elephant.
"Oh, that's nice." (
She walked on to the hippopotamus. Mrs.
Hippopotamus, what do you feed your babies?"
"I feed them hippopotamus milk."
"Oh, that's nice."
Next, she encountered the lion. "Mrs. Lion, what do you feed your
babies?"
"I feed them wide-mouthed frogs."
(Scrunching your mouth up as tight as
possible --->) "Oh, that's nice."
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