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| 71) Actual Microsoft Helpdesk Conversasions |
Here are some conversations, from Microsoft, which had actually taken
place between help desk people and their customers:
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote'click'."
---------------------------------
Customer: "I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
---------------------------------
Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer "No..."
---------------------------------
Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support: ?@#$
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you
see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
Tech Support: "Well then we can't-"
Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."
Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"
Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to
try a few times, and it will let me through."
Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're
on the phone with me."
Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."
---------------------------------
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
---------------------------------
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
---------------------------------
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
---------------------------------
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"
---------------------------------
Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
---------------------------------
Customer: "I don't have a space bar."
|
| 72) Auto Remote Key |
Modern Automobile Advances
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked.
She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think
they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and
the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied,
"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries ...
it's a long walk."
|
| 73) Ballad Y2K Gilligan Parody |
The Ballad of Y2K
(sing to the tune of "Gilligan's Island")
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
Of the doom that is our fate.
That started when programmers used
Two digits for a date
Two digits for a date
RAM memory was smaller then;
Hard drives were tiny, too.
"Four digits are extravagant,
So let's get by with two.
So let's get by with two."
"This works through 1999,"
The programmers did say.
"Unless we write new code by then
The data goes away.
The data goes away."
But management had not a clue;
"It works fine now, you bet!
Rewriting code cost money,
We won't do it just yet.
We won't do it just yet."
Now when 2000 rolls around
It all goes straight to hell,
For zero less then ninety-nine,
As anyone can tell.
As anyone can tell.
The mail won't bring your pension check;
It won't be sent to you
When you're no longer sixty-eight
But minus thirty-two.
But minus thirty-two.
The problems we're about to face
Are frightening, for sure.
And reading every line of code's
The only certain cure.
The only certain cure
[[ key change, the big finish coming]]
There's not much time, there's too much code,
And COBOL-coders, few.
When the century is finished,
We may be finished, too.
We may be finished, too.
|
| 74) Bfuddled |
From the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994.
Reprinted without permission
AUSTIN, Texas - The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn't get
her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp.
technician, made sure the computer was plugged in and then asked the
woman what happened when she pushed the power button.
"I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the
woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the woman
said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The "foot
pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a hand-operated device
that helps to control the computer's operations.
[boring stuff deleted]
Only two years ago, most calls to PC help lines came from techies
needing help on complex problems. But now, with computer sales to homes
exploding as new "multimedia" functions gain mass appeal, PC makers say
that as many as 70% of their calls come from rank novices. Partly
because of the volume of calls, some computer companies have started
charging help-line users.
[boring stuff deleted]
John Wolf: "A frustrated customer called, who said her brand new Contura
would not work. She said she had unpacked the unit, plugged it in,
opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to
happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked, 'What power switch?'"
Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users. So many people have
called to ask where the "any" key is when "Press Any Key" flashes on the
screen that Compaq is considering changing the command to "Press Return Key."
Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Eagle, an AST technical
support supervisor, says one customer complained that her mouse was hard
to control with the "dust cover" on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Dell technician Wayne Zieschang
says one of his customers held the mouse and pointed it at the screen,
all the while clicking madly. The customer got no response because the
mouse works only if it's moved over a flat surface.
Disk drives are another bugaboo. Compaq technician Brent Sullivan says
a customer was having trouble reading word-processing files from his
old diskettes. After troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to
diagnose the problem, Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with
the diskette. The customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette,
roll it into the typewriter..."
At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's request that
she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk. A letter from the customer
arrived a few days later, along with a Xerox copy of the floppy. And at
Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in
the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician to "hold on," the
customer put the phone down and was heard walking over to shut the
door to his room. The technician meant the door to his floppy drive.
The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling. A Dell
customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the "send" key.
Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so Dell
echnician Gary Rock referred him to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me
couple of friends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
software store, the man said, "Oh! I thought you meant for me to find a
couple of geeks."
Not realizing how fragile computers can be, some people end up damaging
parts beyond repair. A Dell customer called to complain that his
keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his
tub with soap and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and
then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
Computers make some people paranoid. A Dell technician, Morgan Vergara, says
he once calmed a man who became enraged because "his computer had told him he
was bad and an invalid." Mr. Vergara patiently explained that the computer's
"bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
These days PC-help technicians increasingly find themselves taking on
the role of amateur psychologists. Mr. Shuler, the Dell technician, who
once worked as a psychiatric nurse, says he defused a potential domestic
fight by soothingly talking a man through a computer problem after the
man had screamed threats at his wife and children in the background.
There are also the lonely hearts who seek out human contact, even if it
happens to be a computer techie. One man from New Hampshire calls Dell
every time he experiences a life crisis. He gets a technician to walk
him through some contrived problem with his computer, apparently feeling
uplifted by the process. |
| 75) Bill Gates and the God |
>If Bill Gates were killed in a car accident. He might
find himself being sized up by God.
"...Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm
not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in the world, and yet
you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do
something I've never done before. In your case, I'm
going to let you decide where you want to go!"
Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God. What's the difference
between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places
briefly if it will help you make a decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy
beach with clear waters.
There were thousands of beautiful women running around,
playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about.
The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect.
Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God.
"If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God, and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels
drifting about playing harps and singing.
It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his
decision. "Hmm, I think prefer Hell," he told God.
"Fine," retorted God, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.
When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a
wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave.
He was being burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.
Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful; this is NOT what I
expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened
to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful
women playing in the water?"
God says, "That was the screen saver."
|
| 76) Bumper Strikers |
Computer Bumper Stickers
1. Home is where you hang your @
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
4. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
5. Great groups from little icons grow.
6. Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
7. C:\ is the root of all directories.
8. Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
9. Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
10. The modem is the message.
11. Too many clicks spoil the browse.
12. The geek shall inherit the earth.
13. A chat has nine lives.
14. Don't byte off more than you can view.
15. Fax is stranger than fiction.
16. What boots up must come down.
17. Windows will never cease.
18. In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
19. Virtual reality is its own reward.
20. Modulation in all things.
21. A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
22. There's no place like http://www.home.com
23. Know what to expect before you connect.
24. Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
25. Speed thrills.
26. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to
use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
|
| 77) Common COmputer Anonymous |
COBOL Cruddy Obsolete Boring Old Language
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
EMACS Escape Meta Alt Control ShiftEight Megs And Continually Swapping
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
JPEG Joyful Pictures of Exposed Genitals
MPEG Motion Prediction by Educated Guessing
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defunct Operating System
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide Wait
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
|
| 78) Computer Excorcism |
The Computercist
By Ian Wolff
Although rare, computer possessions have lately been recorded at an
increasingly alarming rate. However, to date, the most celebrated case
of (documented) computer possession took place on the evening of June
23rd, 1997, in the small upscale town of Menlo Park, CA. For the sake
of the victim and his family he is referred to in the following case
file simply as 'Tad.'
(Case #27-198TAD Monday, Oct 23rd, 1997... 6:42pm)
"I'm so glad you're here," said the beleaguered looking middle aged
woman as she ushered the two gentlemen callers into her living room and
bade them sit, "I'll just be a moment," she continued, hastening into
the kitchen and returning with three steaming mugs of freshly brewed
coffee.
"Tell me what you can, Miss Snyder, I'd like to get started as soon as
possible." Said Jacob, the more elderly of the two gentlemen.
"It all started last night," she began, "Tad, that's my son's name,
Tad. Tad had been locked away in his room for the past three weeks, I
thought he was just studying hard since his finals were coming up and
all, so I left him alone. Until last night, that is, that's when I
entered his room and..." she began to tremble, tears rolled down her
cheeks and she dropped her coffee mug to the floor with a crash.
Karrass, the younger of the two gentlemen, leapt to her aid. "There,
there," he said, holding her tight and patting her on the back,
"everything will be all right
Jacob arose from the couch and taking the large black suitcase in hand,
caught Karrass's gaze and motioned him towards the stairs. "It's time,"
he whispered, "come along now."
They climbed the stairs quickly and Karrass reached for the boy's
bedroom door. "Stop!" hissed Jacob, "there are a few things we have to
get straight first. Number one, you'll have to keep IT busy while I
install a surge protector."
"A surge protector?"
"Yes, trust me. If the power goes, so goes the boy. It happened to me
once before and I'm still paying for it. Not the child, the computer.
"Do you know how much a fully loaded Compaq Impresario costs!" Her
father kept screaming in my face. Meanwhile his daughter's soul had
just been sucked into cyberhell. It was very sad, not to mention
expensive."
"Gotcha, I'll keep it busy while you install the surge protector.
Anything else?"
"Yes, whatever you do, don't listen to it. It will try and make you
angry. It will lie, twist your words, show you unflattering pictures of
your loved ones on its monitor and tell you that your mother's in it's
nudie files. Do NOT believe IT! Well, unless of course..."
"NO," shrieked Karrass, "she couldn't be!"
"Fine then, are you ready?" Karrass nodded in the affirmative and the
two men entered the room. It was worse than Jacob had expected and
nearly more than Karrass could take in.
The boy lay prostrate upon the bed, a 56k modem was attached to the left
side of his abdominal region, while several wires leading from multiple
outlets looked to have installed themselves throughout every orifice the
boy owned. It seemed to Karrass as if the boy and the computer had
become one. The room stank of burnt wires and singed pubic hair. The
walls were awash with downloaded girlie pictures and more pornography,
thought Jacob, than a Larry Flynt archive. "I wonder what type of
finals he was preparing for," whispered Karrass.
Suddenly the monitor sprang to life and the hiss of the speakers filled
the room. "Nice day for a computercism," came the deep croaking voice,
"we've been expecting you."
Karrass pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, he took the
keyboard and placing it on his lap, typed "who are you?"
"You have mail!" Blasted the speakers, followed by a wicked giggle.
"Never mind who I am," it continued, "I'm not giving up the boy and
that's all you need to know, Karrass. That is your name isn't it? And
stop typing, I can hear you just fine, I'm wired to the little pinhead's
eardrums."
"What should we call you?" Asked Jacob, while covertly slipping the
surge protector from the suitcase. "If I tell you," came the voice and
this time from the boy's own lips, "I'll have to kill you. But if you
must know, It's Mort."
"MORT?" Chimed the two men.
"Hey, you asked."
"Do you know why we are here, Mort?" Asked Jacob, while installing the
surge protector. "I know why you THINK you're here," it responded, "but
you're terribly mistaken, the NERD IS MINE!!" Came another blast from
the speakers, this time causing both men to cover their ears. Jacob
pulled a pair of wire cutters from the bag and snipped the speaker
wires. "Very sneaky," it said, now from the boy's mouth. "Hey Karrass,
look what your father's been up to."
Karrass gazed at the monitor, there, in full color, was his very own
father, dressed in a white teddy, a flowing pink negligee, and six-inch
spiked black heels.
"That's not my father!" Screamed Karrass.
"Karrass!" Shouted Jacob, "what did I tell you!" Karrass sat
motionless, unable to peel his gaze from the hideous picture. Jacob
pulled a shirt from the closet and draped it over the monitor.
"Karrass," he said, taking the man by the shoulders and shaking him
violently, "snap out of it."
Karrass gazed up at Jacob, his face drained of color, "did you see it,
Jacob?"
"Yes, it was horrible, but I warned you that might happen. Besides, it
could have been worse, it could have been MY father. Actually the
negligee seemed to fit quite well and as for the..."
"Stop," Karrass interrupted, while placing both hands to his stomach,
"no more, please."
Jacob brought Karrass a glass of water from the connecting bathroom and
delved into his bag, it was time to stop playing, he thought, and get
down to some serious work. He removed a small vile labeled 'Bill Gate's
saliva' and popped the cap. "Be gone from this child of the Internet!"
He shouted, while flicking some of the vile's contents across the boy's
body, the monitor, keyboard and modem.
"AHHHHH It burns, it burns!" Screamed the unholy and writhing
assemblage. "Your mothers on my hard-drive Jacob!" It shrieked,
spitting a stream of keyboard cleaning solution into Jacob's face.
Jacob continued, undaunted. "You will leave this nerd now! You will
return this computer geek now! By the almighty text of HTML, so be it
written, so be you confused by it, and all things computerized
accordingly shall confuse you...!"
"Stop!" Howled the beast, it's wires now sparking and sending a bluish
smoke into the air. "The monitor turned completely around on it's axis,
several floppy discs began flying about the room, one hitting Karrass
squarely in the crotch, causing him to drop to the floor in agony.
Jacob strove on, "Bill Gates compels you! Steve Wozniak compels you!
Steve Jobs compels you!" With each incantation he thrust another
sprinkling of saliva upon the beast. "Henry Ford compels you!"
"He made cars," moaned a still agonizing Karrass.
"Oh right, sorry, I've been meaning to delete that. Be gone from this
boy you demon!" It was working, the wires began detaching themselves
from the boy. "Jacob!" shouted an excited Karrass, "it's working! Read
from Genesis, Jacob. Genesis!"
Jacob flipped to the front of the book and began reading. "In the
beginning there was a garage, and Steve and Steve saw the garage, and
they liked it, saying 'this is a good garage. 'DAMN!" He suddenly
blurted, throwing the vile across the room. "What is it?" Asked
Karrass. "No more saliva," replied Jacob. "This happens every time he
continued, while feverishly digging through the suitcase, "that's the
trouble with billionaires, they can't produce enough saliva because they
have nothing to salivate for!"
Suddenly the boy sat up and thrust the mouse in Jacob's face, "click me,
click me, click me," it repeated in a hideous croak, "click me!" Jacob
pushed the mouse away and pulling a floppy disk from his bag, held it
before the boy's eyes. The boy immediately recoiled and began to
whimper, "please don't," it pleaded. "Not a virus, please. I'll be
good, I promise, I'll give you fifteen free hours and unlimited access
to Catholic Nymphos?"
Jacob handed the disc to Karrass and ordered him to load it. Then
turning back to the beast, he fixed it with a steely glare and with a
twinkle in his eye shouted "fax you and the mouse you clicked in on!"
The two men stepped back as the virus began spreading like poison
throughout the beast. Random pictures began flashing across the
monitor, Newt Gingrich, Keith Richards, Cool Whip, The official Vaseline
page.
"Oh there's a pretty picture," whispered Jacob, while Karrass clutched
at his already overtaxed stomach. Suddenly the room fell silent, the
monitor went black and a thick blue smoke began streaming from the boy's
ears. "It's over," said Jacob, wiping the sweat from his brow. Karrass
approached the bed and leaned over the boy, "Tad?" He whispered. The
boy's eyes opened, "who are you?" He asked, "and where's my mother?"
Meanwhile....
Little Kathy dashed through her front door and ran straight away into
her bedroom. Life in little Ackle, New Zealand, had always been rather
boring, she thought, that is until her parents had recently given in and
bought her a brand new computer. She booted up the system and watched
as the pretty colors and 'way cool' graphics danced before her eyes.
"You have Mail!" Hissed the speakers. "Wow, cool!" She squealed, while
leaning forward to read the name upon her screen. "How totally weird,"
she whispered, while clicking to open the file, "I don't know anyone
named Mort." |
| 79) Computer Geek |
A computer geek loved a girl who studies computer science.
He sent a letter, saying:
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER Believe me it is true ...
You installed the best in me.
Your picture is always in my background.
You clicked my heart gently.
You drive me crazy when I see you.
Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.
You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted.
I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat per second.
You hacked my brain and registered your name in it.
You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my
emotions at the same time.
I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding.
I always feel you close to me when I shut down my eyes, or when I open
my windows waiting for you to pass.
You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out.
I dream of being your only server as long as I live.
You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each
others.
I see your name everywhere, my front page, my homepage and all my
software.
I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you.
You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do?
Believe me it is true...
I love you more than my CPU!!!! |
| 80) Computer Literature |
So you think you're computer-illiterate ?
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
"Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to
be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to
diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labelled the
diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer
along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy
back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech
to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and
crossing the room to close the door to his room.
6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the
technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper
by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send"
key.
7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
couple of friends, "the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to
find a couple of geeks."
8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap
and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the
keys and washing them individually.
9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.
10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.
11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new
computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it
in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked "What power switch?"
12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because
I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a
trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he
couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.
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