Types of Chain Letters


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chain Letter Type I

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no parents,
and no pecker. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every
time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Starving Legless
Armless Parentless Peckerless Little Boys from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent. So go on, reach out.

Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder- if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly and a mad
goat will rape your dead body. Thanks again!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Chain Letter Type lI: Make a wish!!!

(This is where you have to scroll down)

Really, go on and make one wish!!!

Oh please, s/he'll never go out with you!!!

Wish something else!!!

Not *that* either, you pervert!!

Is your finger getting tired yet?

You Can Stop now moron!!!!!!!!

Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty,
here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to a certain
number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and
then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because
, you now, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
Really!!! Here's how it goes.

Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending them
a stupid chain letter.

5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter.

10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter.

20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you
for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chain Letter Type III

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as
many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass
this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will
happen to you like:

Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of
poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,
she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it
. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some
people swing that way, especially at Oklahoma City University). They both
died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both
cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To
You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter
to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok.

Of course, there's the guy in Peoria Illinois who DID forward this on and
then he married his secret crush, they moved to the suburbs, had 2.3
children and lived happily ever after.

Right up until he started working late every night, started an affair with
his secretary and boozing. Then she started sleeping with the golf pro at
the local country club, became addicted to sleeping pills and their 2.3
children got into gangs and drugs. Then everything went to hell, and they
got divorced. She got the house and the kids, and he got the car and child
support payment, and got to keep the mortgage payment, lost his job and his
car and now is working the midnight shift at the local McDonald's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chain Letter Type IV

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
friends.

Friends
- A friend is someone who is always at your side,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
- A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
- A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about
your loser life,
- A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think
you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, - A
friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets
the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry that's
the cleaning lady,

Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room in
your sleep!!

There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain
letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity,
send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but
otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I don't
care. Thanks!

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.

TRASH IT!!! If it's a joke or something, send it, sure! Just don't forget
to delete the chain letter part. But if it's gonna make people feel guilty
(i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e.
Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of poop), just DELETE it.

Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say NO!!! to
BLOODY CHAIN LETTERS!!" Thank you.

Type Of Women

Which type of woman is yours?

HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no
one can
live without her.

EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her
for
your four basic needs.

SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun to
look at!

INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access.

SERVER Woman: Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Woman: She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Woman: She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Woman: Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS Woman: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall
her you
will lose some! thing, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose
everything ..........

You Might Be an Engineer if ...


A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna
on the radio in your work area for better reception
All your sentences begin with "what if"
At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade
your RAM is a moral dilemma
Dilbert is your hero
Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery,
and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room
In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure
On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages
faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel
People groan at the party when you pick out the music
The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam
to fix it
The only jokes you receive are through e-mail
The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters
your mind
When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson
talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend next
twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the
salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head
You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase
"electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information
superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses
hand-drawn pie charts
You are always late to meetings
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling
You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games,
but are afraid to say so out loud
You are convinced you can build a phazer from your garage door opener
and your camera's flash attachment
You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear
reactor
You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that
the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it
You are still drinking Mr Pibb
You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the
cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay
You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday
You bought your wife's valentine gift at orchard supply
You can name at least six Star Trek episodes
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
You can understand anything Al Gore says
You can't fit any more colored pens in your shirt pocket
You can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this
week
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical
lines
You carry a list for everything except the groceries
You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test
that actually takes five minutes to run
You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel
You disdain people who use low baud rates
You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Gallactica impersonations by talking
into a spinning fan
You drive a gremlin with a "Beam me up Scotty" bumper sticker
You ever burned down the gymnasium with your science fair project
You ever forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months
You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying the baggage
handling equipment
You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to
see how they do the special effects
You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own
turns bread into charcoal
You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
You have ever debated who was a better captain: Kirk or Piccard
You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and know what RPN
stands for
You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside
You have introduced your kids by the wrong name
You have memorized the Discovery Channel program schedule but have
seen most of the shows already
You have modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven
You have more friends on the Internet than in real life
You have never backed up your hard drive
You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since
you got married
You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts
You introduce your wife/husband as "mylady@home.wife/husband"
You just don't have the heart to throw away the 100-in-1 electronics
kit you got for your ninth birthday
You know how to take the cover off your computer, and what size
screwdriver to use
You know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic
equipment on commercial flights
You know the direction the water swirls when you flush
You know what http:// stands for
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys
You need a checklist to turn on the TV
You order pizza over the Internet and pay for it through your home
banking software
You own "Official Star Trek" anything
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
You rearrange the dishwasher to maximize the packing factor
You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit Compuserve
address, but you have to call your niece "kiddo"
You rooted for HAL, the computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey
You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile
tires
You see a good design and still have to change it
You spend more time on your home computer than in your car
You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring
You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
You talk about the high resolution and picture-in-picture capability
of your big screen TV while everybody is watching the Superbowl
You talk about trellis code modulation at parties
You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory
You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget
to send your father a birthday card
You think Sales and Marketing are Satan's children
You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't
get enough sleep
You think your computer looks better without the cover
You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was stupid
You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission
controllers
You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
You walk around with your hands in your two front pockets 99% of the
time
You want an 24X CD ROM for Christmas
You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
You window shop at Radio Shack
You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the
moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite
You've already calculated how much you make per second
You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio
Your four basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine, 2. Fat, 3. Sugar, 4.
Chocolate
Your checkbook always balances
Your dress clothes come from Sears
Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with
a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up
thinking that was normal
Your favorite actor is R2D2
Your favorite character on Gilligan's Island was "The Professor"
Your favorite James Bond character is "Q," the guy who makes the
gadgets
Your favorite place in San Francisco is the Exploratorium
Your favorite television show is New Yankee Workshop
Your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
Your idea of a "good read" is the Edmund Scientific catalog
Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the
decimal point in the right place
Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest
sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
Your Internet bill is higher than your long distance charges
Your IQ is a higher number than your weight
Your kids refer to you as The Man Who Sleeps with Mommy
Your laptop computer costs more than your car
Your spouse sends you an email instead of calling you to dinner
Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to
explain atmospheric absorption theory
Your wardrobe looks like you shop at Goodwill Industries
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
Your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium
Your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone

Justice Department Suit Against Microsoft


Justice Department officials have obtained internal Microsoft documents
that would support a new antitrust case. Man, I hope the federal government
wins. I like to root for the little guy.

The Positive Side to Y2K

January 1, 2000

Dear Valued Employee:
Re: Vacation Pay

Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time
over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees
are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time
off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.
Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your
next pay check will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which will
include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months.

Sincerely,
Automated Payroll Processing

The Mystery of the Vanishing Video Tapes
by Bill Hall, Lewiston, Idaho Tribune, April 15, 1992


First, we solved the puzzle of disappearing socks and the mystery of
multiplying coat hangers. Today, we solve the strange case of the
disappearing video tapes.

I was among the millions who couldn't explain the chronic disappearance
of socks and the way hangers accumulate in vast numbers in the dark
recesses of your closet, making you wonder what the male coat hangers
and the female coat hangers are doing in there.

But then I realized that socks are the larval stage of coat hangers.
The socks disappear because they open their wings when we aren't looking
and become hangers.

But what is the explanation for constantly running out of video tapes?
You could buy a carload of tapes for your video recorder, but when you
suddenly see something on television that you must have, you cannot find
a blank one.

My first guess, of course, was that video tapes are sock eggs, which
become socks, which become coat hangers.

But there's more to it than that. My relatives get part of the blame.
In this society, if you get a new car or spouse or cat or house, you
take video pictures and send them to all the relatives. It's like
snapshots, only a lot more cumbersome and expensive.

But that's small potatoes. A friend points out the larger explantion:
There are members of each family who tend to tape programs and squirrel
them away without watching them.

His wife, for instance. Somewhere in their house, she has tucked away
several hundred tapes, each one containing a program that they really
ought to watch one day soon.

I'm not talking about entertainment programs like movies and sit-coms
and game shows and football games or even half-hour infomercials
featuring old movie stars paid to tell you they haven't had a wrinkle
since they started applying buckets of Wonder Goo to their aging
kissers.

I'm talking about programs that are so good for you they hurt cultural
and informational programs that you really ought to watch, but don't.
I'm talking, for instance, about the sort of public television program
that people who like public television don't even watch. But they feel
guilty about not watching those offerings so they tape the shows and
plan to watch them when they get time.

But they never get time. These tapes are the equivalent of all the
magazine articles and special newspaper sections and environmental
pamphlets and Republican position papers that you stack up and really
intend to read one of these days.

In the early days of television, we had only two choices when it came to
programs that were good for us. If they had a program, for instance, on
the history of the American vice presidency or on the evolution of the
flute or on the causes of liberal extremism in Utah, you watched it or
you didn't watch it.

Today, there is a third possibility:

Let your video recorder watch it for you.

That's all you have to do. That clears your conscience and squares you
with your fellow do-gooders. You don't have to actually sit through
that mind rot yourself. You just have to plan to watch it one of these
days or at least promise to fast-forward through the meaty portions.

That is the virtue of robots, as opposed to children, servants or
employees. A robot is just a machine so there is no task so distasteful
that you can't order the robot to do it.

Today, we have robots that fight fires, robots that pour molten metal,
robots that clean up nuclear waste and robots that mix noxious
chemicals. And now we have robots that watch chemistry lectures, modern
dance recitals and political debates.

It takes a lot of tape but it gives a person a certain standing in the
right circles:

"Did you watch the city council debate last night?"

"No, but my video recorder did."

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."

-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and walked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year."

-- Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?"

-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."

-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."

-- Western Union internal memo, 1876

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"

-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."

-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"

-- H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927

"I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper."

-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in Gone With The Wind.

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make."

-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."

-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962

"Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."

-- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this."

-- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"

-- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer

"Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools."

-- 1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's revolutionary rocket work

"You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You just have to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition of weight training."

-- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved the "unsolvable" problem by inventing Nautilus

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy."

-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."

-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."

-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."

-- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".

-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon".

-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."

-- Bill Gates, 1981

WP Problems

Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:


"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C:\prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into
the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely in to the back
of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought
it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them, you are too stupid to own a computer".

Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in
South Carolina:


Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders

Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle

Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
Hefty bag

Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"

Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos

The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse

Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized
drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"

Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
Achy-Breaky Heart

PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"

Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and
"Vishul C++"

Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag

Microsoft Word would be just that: one word

New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"

Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"

Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am

Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse

Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver

Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire

Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead
cars in your front yard

Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator

Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates

Web-Surfing Drinking Game


With the recent rise of "Geek culture," the long-held misperception that
computer users are solitary, electronic slaves is slowly receding like a
ten percent drop shadow. Geeks have asserted for years that they can
party as hard as any testosterone-filled football player. To prove it, we
present the TidBITS Web Surfing Party Game (TBWSPG, pronounced "Fred").

Fred is best experienced in a group setting (say, a rack of office
cubicles at lunch time), but you can also play at home alone or networked,
of course. To play, choose your favorite drink, connect to your ISP, and
start surfing the Web. Remember to be responsible, and hand over the
mouse when you've drunk too much.

DRINK ONCE IF ...
* your modem has to redial when connecting to your ISP (if more
than five times, stop drinking and cancel that darn AOL
account already!)
* you see a "Best Viewed With..." tag (twice if it's animated)
* you get any error message (bad URL, etc.)
* you see an under construction sign
* you view a page with a Web counter (twice if it's a broken
graphic)
* you view a blink tag (not necessary to drink for every blink)
* you come across a Java applet (twice if it doesn't load)
* you see the phrase "cool links"
* a background sound loads (you also must dance with drink in hand)
* your browser crashes
* you have to resize the browser window
* a graphic doesn't load

DRINK TWICE IF ...
* you hit a JavaScript error
* you arrive at a password-protected site (if you can guess the
password in three tries, collect a dollar from everyone in
the room and chug drink)
* you find a home page purportedly belonging to someone's pet
* "cool" is spelled "kewl"
* you have to download a plug-in and restart your browser
* the graphics are broken on a Web designer's home pages

SPECIAL RULE ...
* If you hit a Shockwave project, you have to wait to drink until
it's downloaded (This is a good chance to walk to the store
for more drinks, render 3D images, or write a new operating
system.)